im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
