I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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