ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
