I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
