One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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