Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
