I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
