The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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