Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
