before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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