Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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