She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
