A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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