i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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