So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
