i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
