I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
