just come out here and I will go home with you...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
