I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Even my vagina gasped.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
