Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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