Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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