I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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