Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
