You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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