It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She said her name was "party"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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