some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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