At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
is it fun? or sober?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
