It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
