i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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