Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
