Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
