Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
