Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
