hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
