THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
