Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
