Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
