Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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