so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
