we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
