Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
