We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You don't make any sense
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