do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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