I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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