An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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