That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
