So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
