whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
