There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
