Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
