I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize