what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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