I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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