i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
