Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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