If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
