It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
