dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
