once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
