Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize