I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
