I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
honey bunches of taint.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
