and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
