i can't believe i had my finger in that
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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