Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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