Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
