She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
