Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
