Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm both gender and math confused
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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