So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
