My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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