Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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