Its about making memories worth repressing
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize