They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
