Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize