CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize