It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
