well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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