oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
