I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize