if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize