dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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