I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
