Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
