thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
