I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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