dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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