you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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