Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
