I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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