i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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