Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
